Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Jets: A Poetic Recap Of The 2010 Season


We lost last year to the Colts in the Championship Game,
And in the second half collapse, the defense was to blame,
We kept the staff in tact; there was no canning,
But we needed a person on defense to help stop Manning,
After giving the middle finger in route to a Super Bowl Party,
Rex and Co. went out and signed Cromartie,
The Steelers wanted Santonio Holmes out the door,
Sanchez had surgery on his knee,
And ready for training camp he promised to be,
So for a 5th round pick that’s who we traded for,
Our clutch kicker we released, so I had to say “Really?”
And out the door went our beloved jay Feely,
We signed Jason Taylor who we all did hate,
But now he was in green and a Jets teammate,
Releasing Thomas Jones and Fanaca was odd in an uncapped year,
And this was a move that all Jets fans would fear,
The Chargers dumped L.T. so he was on the move,
And came to the Jets with something to prove,
We drafted Wilson, Ducasse, Conner, and McKnight,
And hoped these new toys would fit in just right,
Rex started in Cortland saying we are ground and pound,
And on the ESPN Bus, he wrote “Super Bowl Bound.”
We had training camp taped for “Hard Knocks” on HBO,
And Tony Dungy didn’t like Rex’s cursing, as we all know,
There was one more thing, and without a doubt,
That there had to be a happy ending to the Revis holdout,
Love the extensions signed by Mangold and D’Brick,
But getting rid of Rhodes and Leon Washington made me feel a bit sick,
Rex said, “Hey, it’s all cool.”
And went out and signed Brodney Pool,
The season drew close, the new stadium did not sell out,
And the PSL’s all fans could live without,
The pre-season was boring but also just fine,
Except for Joe McKnight and puking on the sideline,
The holdout continued, I wished things would be fine,
After a failed attempt to sign Revis, at the Liberty Diner,
And just before the regular season, the holdout did end,
But I still am not sure, which side did bend,
But not in game shape and before you could blink,
A lingering hamstring problem for Revis really did stink,
Santonio Holmes was suspended for the first four,
So we would have to wait a month to see this offense soar,
The New Meadowland Stadium opening on Monday Night,
The battle vs. the Ravens was our first fight,
After the first few plays, I wish I could give you a reason,
But now Kerry Jenkins was done again for the entire season,
This was not what I was expecting on how the season begun,
We lost 10-9, a sad loss by one,
Harassing reporter Ines Sainz in the locker room,
This young season was starting to spell doom,
And now faced the Patriots for a must-win game,
If we got off to a bad start, the Jets could have caved,
But we thrashed the Pats and the season was saved,
Braylon Edwards then had a DWI,
What the hell are you doing you stupid guy,
The Jets then flew down to play the fish,
And Jason Taylor got his big wish,
Jason nailed their quarterback to record a sack,
And the Dolphins fell short of their comeback,
It was almost as if the Jets were doing practice drills,
As we then put the spanking, on the Bills,
With no Jenn Sterger anywhere in sight,
Brett Favre came to the Meadowlands and put up a good fight,
Favre and the Vikings staged a fourth quarter rally,
But Dwight Lowery’s pick for a TD added to our tally,
Men are from Mars, Women from Venus,
Hope Sanchez learned from Favre, not to text his penis,
Then a comeback at Denver staged by you know who,
Throw a ball to Holmes for pass interference at the two,
LT then had a touchdown, a two yard run,
This is a game I’m not sure how we won,
At 5-1, I was hoping we wouldn’t crack,
Until we ran into the Pack,
This loss on Halloween was a complete bore,
With so many dropped balls and could not score,
Then in Detroit, another miracle was in store,
When Sanchez hits Holmes in OT to set up the game winning score,
At the midpoint of the season, the Jets were 6-2,
And there was a lot of work left for this team to do,
The Jets almost blew a game to Cleveland at the end of regulation,
But there would be no Browns standing ovation,
With the game looking like it would be a tie,
Sanchez hits Holmes for the TD on the fly,
The Jets may have found this magical fourth quarter comeback code,
Becoming the first team to ever win back to back OT games on the road,
Against the Texans, the fourth quarter magic continued some more,
After blowing the lead, we won with a really late score,
And since beating the Bengals twice last year,
This victory was a game that we really didn’t fear,
Before the MNF game against the Patriots, we were 9-2,
This game was so big, I didn’t know what to do,
In practice, Jim Leonhard, broke his leg,
It could be the reason why the Jets were about to lay an egg,
The Jets didn’t now what to do as well,
As they were murdered 45-3…what the hell,
You heard me right, I said forty five to three,
One of the worst losses ever in Jets history,
After they got home, they buried the game ball,
A funeral they had, no talking about it at all,
Against the Dolphins, we were hoping for a rebound,
But mistakes led to a loss on our home ground,
We also took another fall,
When Sal Alosi built the “Human Wall,”
We had to go into Pittsburgh to stop the bleeding,
A Brad Smith kickoff return to start the game, and the Jets were leading,
The defense held them on the last drive,
A win against the Steelers, the dream was still alive,
Rex Ryan and wife, in foot fetish video,
All I could say, is “wow, oh no!”,
Then in Chicago, the Jets let this one slip away,
But we did clinch a playoff spot that day,
The finale against the Bills was the best
And still be them bad giving starters some rest,
Rex said it was time to get Manning, started talking smack,
The team talked too and had Rex Ryan’s back,
The good thing about our playoff opponent was that it wouldn’t be windy,
And we were off to the indoors to seek revenge on Indy,
I thought we blew the game with a minute to go,
Until Sanchez came out and put on a show,
With no timeouts, Mark was ready to sail,
This year in Indy we would not fail,
He drove us close for and in came Nick,
Who booted the field goal for the winning kick,
Now off to New England who spanked the Jets bad,
It was personal claimed Rex Ryan,
And there was no way he’d leave Gillette Stadium cryin,
Then Cromartie took it one step further in the Jets/Pats Bowl,
By letting the world know that Brady’s an A-hole,
An inspirational speech by Dennis Byrd,
The Jets took in every single word,
The Jets had the game plan and the Patriots were shocked,
Back to the Championship Game; we just really rocked,
Two wins in the books and one more to go,
A rematch in Pittsburgh was the theme of the show,
Everything was quiet, with minimal trash talk,
This would come down to who could walk the walk,
We were 60 minutes from the Super Bowl,
And before I could get excited, were in a 7-0 hole,
The defense couldn’t tackle, they were flat as could be,
And at the end of the half, it was Twenty Four to three,
The worst half of football, I had ever seen,
That the hell happened to our beloved Gang Green,
The second half they began to play,
The first half they should have played the same way,
We came out of the half and scored on the first drive,
Only down fourteen points, we were now alive,
With Sanchez digging in his nose, a booger he got,
And on Brunell’s jacket, he wiped his snot,
Another long drive, and down to the one,
Three plays later, points we got none,
A safety for two, a touchdown for seven,
Could we stage this comeback and make it to heaven,
Pitt had the ball, we needed a stop,
The Defense had chances, but they really did flop,
Ben took a knee, the dream had died,
Pissed off, frustrated, I nearly cried,
First Manning, then Brady, but failed on Big Ben,
I can’t believe we have to start the journey all over again.
You can’t play just one half to win a game,
So many things; who do you blame,
Despite labor issues and roster spots, the will be back,
For that elusive Super Bowl, please, one more crack,
We lost two AFC Championships in a row but have no fear,
Cause Rex said we are gonna win it all next year.

- Kevin "Bird" Harrison
West Orange, NJ

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