Article From SpoiledSports.net
East Rutherford – With serious salary cap issues and the announcement that Chad Pennington’s shoulder injury will not force him to end his career, Jets brass has been scrambling to find a doctor who will indeed recommend his retirement.“
There’s got to be somebody, anybody,” former General Manager Terry Bradway said, “All we are looking for is someone who will just tell the guy to call it quits already. We can’t have him out there throwing those eight yard flutterballs anymore.”
After his most recent injury, a rotator cuff tear against the Jaguars in week three, Pennington’s playing future appeared in doubt, and the Jets realized that they might be able to begin to search for a new quarterback who could actually throw the ball downfield in their new offensive system. However, after seeing Dr. James Andrews in Alabama and having the shoulder repaired, Pennington expressed optimism that he will be back next season.“
He is a resilient little bastard, isn’t he,” former coach Herman Edwards said, “We’ve brought in about eight different doctors and none of them, regardless of how much money I slipped them before the checkup, would tell him that he’s done. What more can we do?”
With six more months of recovery ahead of him, Pennington has been alarmed by the behavior of some of the Jets towards him.“
Last time I saw John Abraham, he challenged me to an arm wrestle,” Pennington said, “How can I arm wrestle when I have a sling on? Then Jonathan Vilma wanted to show me these moves that he saw on ‘WWE Raw’ the night before, so he picks me up and tries to slam me to the mat. You would think that they are trying to re-injure me!”
Attempts to find a doctor with a varying opinion have been difficult. Apparently, Offensive Coordinator Schottenheimer has a cousin who is a podiatrist, but thus far has not been able to contact him.
“Once I can get him to look at Chad, we should be in business,” Schottenheimer said, “I’ll have him throw some technical terms around and then recommend retirement. He probably won’t ask for much in return, either. Maybe a dinner at Chili’s or something. It’ll be worth it to finally have someone who can throw more than five yards execute my brilliant system.”
Current Head Coach Eric Mangini denies truth to the rumors that he secretly met with Jeff Gilooly last week in a last ditch effort to solve the problem.
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