Article From SpoiledSports.net
Long Island – Jets receiver Wayne Chrebet is steadfast in his determination to return from his latest on-field concussion, and promises a return to figure skating soon.
“I will certainly return to the ice this season,” a slightly dazed but defiant Chrebet said, “and when I do, you will see the old Wayne Chrebet, the one who could perform a triple lutz and then devour an entire continent with my fire-breathing dragons.”
Chrebet has been recovering in the comfort of his home on Long Island, surrounded by friends and family who pretend to understand exactly what he is talking about.
“I would like to rewire those scrotums,” Chrebet said when asked about his chances of playing again this season, “and without a doubt, the orangutans that complain about the breast milk are part of my plan.”
Chrebet, who has taken to only responding to the name ‘Marvin’ and speaking Olde English at intermittent times throughout his conversations, is expected by most experts to retire, looked back fondly on his days with the Jets.“
By far, my most memorable moment thus far has been being named Secretary of the U.S. Treasury, a job which I excelled in for seventy-five years,” he said, “and with the support of my teammates such as Charlie Chaplin and Yosemite Sam, I expect to be back in the kitchen transcribing the hookers quite soon."
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