Game #1: Classic Lines By Local Writers

NEW YORK TIMES:
The connection at Arrowhead Stadium between center Kevin Mawae and quarterback Chad Pennington couldn't have been any more disjointed if they had been relying on cellphones instead of snap counts.

THE COURIER NEWS:
Stick-em, super glue, masking tape, rubber cement, or a sewing kit all would have been adequate remedies for Pennington's sudden, inexplicable inability to hold on to the football. How many times was he going to drop it? Four? Five? By the time Pennington left the game in the fourth quarter, he was charged with six fumbles.

NEW YORK POST:
This was supposed to be a humdinger of an offense under new coordinator Mike Heimerdinger, aka The Messiah. Bumdinger is more like it.

The shotgun? It blasted Pennington right between the eyes. That sound you hear is Paul Hackett cackling.

Apparently the boys forgot to pack their swagger in their suitcases,

The good news: Jay Fiedler (the seventh Jet fumble) and the Jets dominated Garbage Time.

The Jets were so sloppy, inept and, quite frankly, embarrassing at times in their 27-7 loss to the Chiefs yesterday at Arrowhead Stadium, it left you wondering if they'll manage to win a single game before this season of promise is over.

They looked as far from the team so many thought would make a run at the Patriots' stranglehold of power in the AFC East as they used to look from being a contender at all during the Rich Kotite era.

NY DAILY NEWS:
Jonathan Vilma walked to the team bus late yesterday with a going-away present from the Jets' 27-7 loss to the Chiefs.

Two presents, actually - an ice pack and a swollen upper lip. The latter came from a teammate's fist.

Let us count their sins: There were seven fumbles, three turnovers, six dropped passes, eight penalties and a blocked field-goal attempt in which rookie kicker Mike Nugent slipped on an imaginary banana peel.

The Jets were so inept that they turned the most fundamental play in football - the center's snap to the quarterback - into an ongoing folly.

Maybe John Abraham was on to something last week when he showed off a new baseball cap that includes the words, "Over rated." Abraham, who bought it to mock his critics, should return to his local shopping mall, pick up another 44 caps and pass them out to his teammates. We'll call them dunce caps. This morning, the Jets have to be considered one of the most overrated teams in the NFL.

But the 27-7 whipping Kansas City put on the Jets yesterday was hideous. It was the Elephant Man of losses.

NJ STAR LEDGER:
The Jets were awful in all phases of the game, starting with the basics. They couldn't tackle, couldn't catch perfectly thrown passes or hit wide-open receivers, couldn't kick a short field goal, couldn't protect the quarterback, couldn't run the ball and couldn't score, until the Chiefs' scrubs were in the game.

Laveranues Coles completed the offensive stink-fecta, dropping two certain touchdown passes.

NY NEWS DAY:
Somewhere in Tampa, a Buccaneers offensive assistant who goes by the name of Hackett must be chuckling to himself. As bad as things got during Hackett's four-year run with the Jets, it was almost never this bad.

As Bill Parcells might say when seeing something like this, Pennington looked like a ball in tall grass. Lost.